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Bigger Phil

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1

Saturday, December 6th 2008, 5:50pm

Female Plunder Theory

First ,I will give you the Male Plundering Fact. Men Plundering in HW: Some days are good some days are bad. There is no grand conspiracy or other external factors that effects basic male plundering. All men have basic 60/40 luck, we accept this fact and move on with our basic HW activities.

Now with females it’s more complicated. First I will give you mathematical terms, followed by the formula and then conclusion:

Givens:[/u]
Women get 8 hours of rest per day and incur no positive or negative effects during this time( ie Women can not nag while asleep)

Lady Luck and Beginners Luck have no effect after one month of game play.

[u]Negative Factors

N= Nagging Percentage Range .15 to.75
CS= Catty Comments/Sarcasm Percentage Range .1 to .4
M=Manipulating Percentage Range .25 to .75
V=Vindictiveness Factor Range 0 to .99

Positive Factors
F=Friendliness Percentage Range .25 to .75
*MP= Proverbs 31 Mirroring Factor Range to .20 to .75
BHW= Basic Game Mechanics = 2

Variable Factors
SE= Your three measurements (bust,waist,hips) added together. If your SE is 92 or below it becomes a negative factor. If your SE is 93 or above it become a positive factor.

Final Product
PP= Plunder Percentage


Formula

BHW+F+ MP – N –CS-M-V + or – SE=PP

PP X 12= Plunder Experience


*For Pagans females who don’t own, have ever seen or have read a bible. All you have to do is compare yourself against the Wicked Witch in Wizard of Oz. Your formula is your percentage minus 1 equals your MP percentage.



Conclusion:

This is only a theory. If I have forgotten any factors or overlooked anything- please comment.

Janet H

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2

Saturday, December 6th 2008, 6:32pm

Zaps Phil with her carriage-mounted, bio-metrically controlled, quasar-boosted laser cannon, thus rendering him a blackened pile of ash, slightly smaller than a sugar cube, which is then picked at by a horde of flies and scattered amongst a thousand dung heaps; thereafter, through molecular entropy and succeeding co-valence, the likelihood of any anatomical reassembly of Bigger Phil is virtually impossible.

:P

This post has been edited 1 times, last edit by "Janet H" (Dec 6th 2008, 6:53pm)


Mugatu22

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Saturday, December 6th 2008, 6:52pm

Quoted

This is only a theory. If I have forgotten any factors or overlooked anything- please comment.


You forgot to include that time of the month. Which could be negative or postive. They will scare HW so bad that they get good plunders, or HW will fight back, with bad plunders. Thus creating an even more hostile world for all :pinch:

I will test my theory with Jan as my subject :P If she lets me of course :D
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Janet H

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Saturday, December 6th 2008, 6:55pm

Adjusting laser canon trajectory for Molalla, Oregon. :cursing:

Mugatu22

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Saturday, December 6th 2008, 6:58pm

:|
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Mugatu22

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Saturday, December 6th 2008, 7:11pm

So is that a yes?............
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Bigger Phil

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7

Saturday, December 6th 2008, 7:23pm

The TOM Effect

Mugs:

Great point! The forumal has to be run on a daily basis because each female is different each day. Thus time of the month- Now Known as the TOM Effect will directly affect and increase the 4 Negative factors(N,CS,M and V). It will also reduce the Positive F factor. All others factors should stay the same.

Janet H

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8

Saturday, December 6th 2008, 7:28pm

RE: The TOM Effect

It will also reduce the Positive F factor.
I've got your positive "F" factor. :evil:

Mugatu22

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Saturday, December 6th 2008, 7:32pm

Quoted

I've got your positive "F" factor. :evil:


:huh: It appears that we have our first case of the TOM effect, lets see how it affects her plunders today ^^
W4: Mugatu (BLACK) W8: Mugatu (LG) W9: I'm a hobo

Janet H

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10

Saturday, December 6th 2008, 7:44pm

:huh: It appears that we have our first case of the TOM effect, lets see how it affects her plunders today ^^
Ash Sole :evil: :D

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Saturday, December 6th 2008, 9:05pm

Zaps Phil with her carriage-mounted, bio-metrically controlled, quasar-boosted laser cannon, thus rendering him a blackened pile of ash, slightly smaller than a sugar cube, which is then picked at by a horde of flies and scattered amongst a thousand dung heaps; thereafter, through molecular entropy and succeeding co-valence, the likelihood of any anatomical reassembly of Bigger Phil is virtually impossible.


V=Vindictiveness Factor Range 0 to .99


Looks like your V factor might be a little low.

*stops* all you guys should be ashamed of yourselves! You are acting like it is 1008 instead of 2008.

:P
*fades like a dream at dawn*

Black Wind

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Saturday, December 6th 2008, 9:15pm

*headdesk* Ugh, I can't believe I wasted my 100th post for that.
*fades like a dream at dawn*

Johan

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13

Saturday, December 6th 2008, 9:17pm

2+2= 4
Please hate me, I am a noob.



"Noobs are meant to be Hated"

Bigger Phil

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14

Saturday, December 6th 2008, 9:25pm

BW it was a worthy post...at least it wasn't on "Who posts next or Count to 1000" Like many of my wasted posts :S

Smurfdog

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15

Sunday, December 7th 2008, 3:23am

I have tried and tried to make the math work, but I still feel that there something missing in the formula............I will try to figure out what it is once my wife release me from the locked room I'm currently being held hostage in......:D
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

piman

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16

Sunday, December 7th 2008, 4:10am

Quoted


Quoted From "Janet H."

"Ash Sole"
Dyslexia? :P

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Sunday, December 7th 2008, 4:12am

And people wonder why Protestant men have so few children per capita compared to Catholics, Mormons, Muslims, and others.... :)
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piman

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Sunday, December 7th 2008, 4:24am

Protestant child theory!

The basic theory is that Protestant men (i.e. Bigger Phil) wind up laying on the ground from the agony that women inflict upon them or ... I think this equation works nicely:

K= Kicks from female counterpart= Number of comments about TOM are measured by 1.

D= Durabilty of area of interest= This is always 0.95. Always and let no man tell you different.

C= Odds of having children= This is a percentage based on the outcome of the equation.

D - K = C

Thus, BP should be negative children. This has led me to the conclusion of 2 possibilities:

1. BP has killed children.

2. Or, once C is a negative number, it is treated as 0.

Bigger Phil

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Sunday, December 7th 2008, 4:27am

I do have one child :-)

piman

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Sunday, December 7th 2008, 4:31am

Someone! Alert the police. BP is about to go on a rampage. What we didn't know is that he had 3 before killing the other 2. Save the last child! :!:

Bigger Phil

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Sunday, December 7th 2008, 4:38am

harsh ;(

oh well----if i dish it out :thumbsup:

piman

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Sunday, December 7th 2008, 4:54am

I couldn't resist :thumbsup:

DemiGod Subarna

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Sunday, December 7th 2008, 11:30am

BW it was a worthy post...at least it wasn't on "Who posts next or Count to 1000" Like many of my wasted posts :S
Oi, those are the best threads in the forum!
Subarna the Divine Warrior ,Ex-OM of PACT The Berserkers in World 5
Yudhishtir - Joined W6 on the 23rd of October
"Go with the Flow!!!"

Bigger Phil

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24

Monday, December 8th 2008, 9:02pm

Oi, those are the best threads in the forum!


They are the best if you want to pump up your postings! I'm only 21 behind you Demi

Underground

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Wednesday, December 10th 2008, 10:14am

BP you might want to add a drunken factor in there. That can sometimes sway the personality one way or the other. Or in addition to the 8 hours of sleep = no nagging formula you could also say that the 3 hours of shopping a day could negate a certain factor rendering it to a 0?

Bigger Phil

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26

Friday, December 12th 2008, 7:25pm

Big U-- i think the drunk factor is a very dangerous 2-edged sword. You are right, the numbers could increase for either the positive or the negative. But you for Big U---I think your female domestic would have a lot of issues stored up and alcohol would bring forth a torrent of negative behaviors. My advice, take her to a nice restuarant - limit her to one glass of fine wine. Go home and plunder together for 2 hours!

Shopping- I dont think shopping would be a major factor. The reason- if she is so concern about shopping- her HW skills are minimal at best. Probably not a hard core player- it's only when we dedicates herself to HW will the Plunder formula come into effect.

Reminder- The Female Plunder formula must be run every day due to the changing status of the female domestic.

TheOracle

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Tuesday, December 16th 2008, 5:09pm

Reminder- The Female Plunder formula must be run every day due to the changing status of the female domestic.
The Male Formula must stay the same: 2xp for experience with a random between 0-1000 for gold. Reasons?
1. They can always brag about how much gold they make with so little experience
2. You don't need experience to buy drinks in SB for the ladies. You need gold
Draven W4

Bigger Phil

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28

Friday, December 26th 2008, 2:27pm

Janet this might help on your plunders. Probably time for you to review it again

Bigger Phil

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29

Thursday, January 8th 2009, 9:48pm

Question?

does tixting have an effect on the female plunder formula? does guilt? wonders

Ranock_Ironfist

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Monday, January 12th 2009, 2:37pm

I think the number of men you have smited in any given day has an effect on the formula.... After all, why else would Janet be outraged at our chauvinistic display of male machismo and utter lack of respect to women and their many trials.....

After all, she does not smite Howard Stern or football :D

Bigger Phil

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31

Monday, January 12th 2009, 8:10pm

I think if your SE is a real low number. It actually has a negative effect on your plundering.

it's the old rule----pretty/slender/smexy girls are harder to deal with and bigger girls have better personalities. :thumbup:
This is not a hard and fast rule, but more truthful than not 8o

SE= Your three measurements (bust,waist,hips) added together. If your SE is 92 or below it becomes a negative factor. If your SE is 93 or above it become a positive factor.

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32

Monday, January 12th 2009, 8:17pm

So, you're saying 36-24-34 is a fat girl?

I think Big Phil is the leading cause of anorexia.
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Bigger Phil

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33

Monday, January 12th 2009, 9:55pm

The number does seem a little low.....maybe 100?

Vedauwoo

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34

Monday, January 12th 2009, 10:46pm

Most of the world is metric boys...

36-24-34 would be 91-61-86 in Canada

Better start talking units if you are to get it right.

Bigger Phil

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35

Monday, January 12th 2009, 10:57pm

Veda:

Are you talking about women or cows?

Vedauwoo

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36

Monday, January 12th 2009, 11:39pm

Inches and centimeters

However in both cultures this:

<*****************************>

Is Six Inches depending on who is asking/telling/measuring

The Black Knight

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37

Tuesday, January 13th 2009, 1:32am

So, you're saying 36-24-34 is a fat girl?

Having dated both a 38A and a 36D, I might also point out that measurements don't always tell the entire story either.

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Tuesday, January 13th 2009, 6:44am

RE: Inches and centimeters

However in both cultures this:

<*****************************>

Is Six Inches depending on who is asking/telling/measuring
You must have a different default font or different DPI on you monitor. Either that, or girls have been very kind to you over the years.
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TheOracle

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Tuesday, January 13th 2009, 4:08pm

RE: RE: Inches and centimeters



However in both cultures this:

<*****************************>

Is Six Inches depending on who is asking/telling/measuring
You must have a different default font or different DPI on you monitor. Either that, or girls have been very kind to you over the years.
As long as he is the one who's parking the car near to a wall*, why complaining?

*old joke
Draven W4

Bigger Phil

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40

Tuesday, January 13th 2009, 8:02pm

Vedasmall?